Flotsam

So I think this is a nautical term with a really specific maritime definition, but I’m going to use it incorrectly to describe the odd things I have found washed up on the lakeshore in the past two months here in Kande Beach, Malawi. I walk up and down the beach at least once a day on my way to the fishing village east of us. I’m leaving the country on Tuesday for Shanghai, so I wanted to commemorate the things I’ve happened upon by accident. The best things I’ve done/experienced here have mostly been accidents.

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Actual Flotsam List

  1. A yellow toothbrush

  2. A rusted machete

  3. Several wigs of varying colors

  4. Freshwater clamshells

  5. A crab’s dismembered claw

  6. A pair of white briefs (almost spotless)

  7. A rotting catfish the size of my arm (shoulder to fingertip, about the width of a handle of alcohol)

  8. Torn fishing net with chunks of flip flops used as floats

  9. A small plastic bag of what appeared to be cocaine but was actually laundry detergent

  10. One fake size-8 Yeezy 350 Boost sneaker (lunar white)

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Figurative Flotsam List

  1. Free racist comments + cup of bourbon given to me by random auto-parts workers at a street corner in Mzuzu

  2. Hitching a ride down a mountain in the back of a truck full of old ladies and live chickens

  3. Slingshot (technically a purchase and not a find but it was still very cheap)

  4. Talking to Lucie’s mom instead of Lucie whenever we talk on the phone

  5. My own mother’s semi-regular fish tank updates via WhatsApp

  6. Nolan Boggess downloading whole videos off of the social site TikTok and sending them to me in an attempt to drain my data plan

  7. Holding a small dog like a hunting rifle (back legs are the handle, belly is where you grip, ears are the sights you look down, snout is barrel) and aiming it another small dog

  8. The void itself

  9. Advice from Joyce, the Malawian manager of the dive center (“if you get a wife do not cheat on your wife, wives are so much better than husbands, the least you can do as a husband is to not cheat on your wife”)

  10. Hearing Afropop and/or dancehall remixes of songs such as Love the Way You Lie, All of You (by John Legend) and Colors of the Wind (Pochahontas)

Happy Friday.

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